Sexual abstinence is a choice to refrain from sexual activity. This choice is usually made for a specific reason. The reason may be moral, religious, legal, or for health and safety.
Everyone has a different definition of sexual abstinence. The most common meaning of sexual abstinence is not having sexual intercourse, vaginal or anal. Oral sex can be considered sexual activity and would therefore be included as an activity to stop if you make the decision to be abstinent.
It is important to discuss with your partner what abstinence means to you, especially if you are developing a new relationship. A specific definition of abstinence should include the expressions of love and sexuality that are acceptable to you and those that aren't. Give your partner example of acceptable behavior: holding hands, cuddling, kissing, etc.
The choices of what is acceptable may depend on the purpose of the abstinence. Your choice of abstinence may be based on moral or ethical reasons, such as a belief that the act of intercourse should be reserved as an expression of a lifetime commitment to one person, to avoid pregnancy, or to avoid any sexually transmitted infections.
There's nothing weird or "uptight" with choosing abstinence - it's just like choosing to use a condom or hormonal contraceptive. It's about what you want for you, your body and your life.
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